ACDJ Vancouver MC and DJ Service Vancouver Canada
Most boring weddings end in a divorce.
Updated: Mar 17, 2022
I did a wedding in 2015 at one of the more prestigious venues in Vancouver. I mean opulence galore! They had $15k in flowers, 3 wedding dresses, 250 guests - it was completely stupid the amount of money this young couple (or probably the parents) shelled out for their "special day". Throughout the reception, I would find myself transfixed by the visual catastrophe taking place in front of my DJ booth, and not because of the sensory overload that was the decor and such, but because of how many people I saw buried in their phones.
There were family members from her side unable and unwilling to fraternize with his side - she was of "Persian" decent while he was plain old Caucasian. Every woman on her side was dressed to the nines, unable to move freely in their Yves St. Lauren gowns and Lamé floral lace dresses while their husbands hovered near the bar, looking for police in a cantor of fine whiskey - and every person on this side looked like the second coming of the Sopranos, waddling in from the Badda Bing to attend dis ere swar-ay.
A gangster marrying a princess...sheesh...
The wedding went on to become the laughing stock of the present crowd. The first dance was a a Beauty and the Beast rip off with 50 uplights and moving spotlights, smoke machine and loud blasting music that I played like a douche DJ. I was never part of the creation or planning of this monstrosity, and maybe that was a good thing for their egos and my future business, because if I had been, I would have told them to take their heads out of their butts and look around the room...
Everybody was bored.
Three years later, I heard that they had divorced. After that $250k wedding (which I was paid a paltry $1000 for my time and lack of appreciation), they separated with malice and no doubt regret on spending such an exhorberant amount of blood money to try to prove to everyone they were in love.
The reason wasn't infidelity or that they had drifted apart, in my opinion, but it was something much more psychological that ended their marriage, and the seed was actually planted on the day of their nuptials.
When most people get married, namely women, they have this vision of what their day will look like - flower bombs, white gowns, feeling like a princess and heart fluttering love! When in reality, a wedding day involves mucho stress, spending money, fighting off momzillas and a long freaking day. The reality of the situation is that whatever you dreamt about as a child, is not how things are supposed to be when the day goes down. And the one thing that young women don't "dream" about is how their guests are going to feel, perceive and comment about that special day.
I know, I know - who cares what others think? This is my wedding damn it! Fair enough, but the future of you feeling good about your wedding day depends on how you treat your guests.
Your friends and family will no doubt remind you for the rest of your life how they interpreted your wedding day. "It was so beautiful!"... "You looked so happy"... "That dance was... um... amazing!"
In the case of the "Gangster wedding", no doubt people only remembered the dance as the highlight of that event. They also remembered the 3.5 hour dinner service, the 1 hour ceremony in the hot sun and the tables of gangsters in the corner wearing sunglasses drinking Johnnie Walker Blue Label Blended Scotch Whisky by the bottle. They also remembered how booorring that 10 hour block of their day was and how they vowed to never let this happen at their wedding.
The point of this?
Ok. So that couple decided early in their planning that the wedding was all about them. They hired a videographer (another $10k vendor) to document their fabulous day so that they could be reminded of how great they looked and how "happy" they were, but amidst all the extras, they forgot about the people. The people are what make your wedding day memorable. The laughter and the dancing... the fun DJ and the roaming magician that adds that creates the connection. They forgot about, or didnt know, what it feels like to sit in a chair for 8 hours and watch two entitled debutants prance across the dance floor like royalty to a 1991 Disney flick theme song. Kill me now!
They didn't realize that the sheer ennui created by their planning was in fact the seed that grew into a tree of their demise as a couple. I bet no one said to them that "was the best wedding I've ever been to!" or "Thats what I'm doing at my wedding!". Guaranteed that a year later no one said to them "I had such a good time at your wedding" or even remembered which dress they liked better. The bride set herself up to look like she had it all, like they were the most perfect couple and that everyone should be so lucky to have a day like this.
People make nice comments about your wedding when they feel involved and engaged. When someone is treated with respect, they return it with the confirmations that you need to feel good about the magical day you created. People go to many weddings in their lives, and most are the same boring events, but when you make it alllll about yourself, it leaves an icky gross feeling that makes people want to exit stage left as soon as dinner is done.
When you take the day away from your guests like that, you might as well just get married on your own, film the whole thing and send it out as a Facebook post for people to fast forward to the good parts. When you don't treat your guests like "guests" you rob yourself of the opportunity to look back and reminisce with your friends over one of the most fun days of your life.
Planning your wedding is really simple. This is the scientific formula that will give you a great chance of truly being with that person "for the rest of your lives"...:
When you do this, you will hear comments from your loved ones that will confirm that you and your spouse did the right thing on your wedding day. "That was the most fun day", "You looked so beautiful", "My feet hurt from dancing and my face hurt from laughing" (Actual Party Pros comment on one of our weddings). The reason? Because they know that you took the time, effort and money to invest in your relationship with them, not with yourselves. You considered their time and mental faculties and wanted them to understand that its not "showing" how much you love each other, but rather having people "feel" that your love is strong enough that you don't have to prove a damn thing.
Remember... successful weddings are all about uniting the room and leaving people with feelings of love. That feeling you created with be something you and your spouse will remember for the rest of your lives!